Old Feelings Die Hard
by Ariel3JLP
Summary: Samantha is devastated when Martin breaks up with her but things go from bad to worse when his old girlfriend shows up. She must decide how to win him back, or if she even wants to.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything from the tv show "Without a Trace." Trust me, if I did everyone would know because it would be all about Samantha and Martin and they would NOT have broken up.**

**A/N: This plotline takes place before "Boogieman" and will not deal with the issue of Vivian's illness. It is also a S/M fic so if you're J/S it's probably not your cup of tea but there will be no Jack bashing. I like Jack most of the time and he will be portrayed in a good light in this story so, no worries.**

**Chapter One: Blast from the Past**

Samantha Spade laughed as she and Martin Fitzgerald entered her apartment after their date Tuesday night. They had gone to a highly recommended Italian restaurant and then walked back to her apartment, simply enjoying the cool night air and the cricket song. As usual, she had a nice time. She loved being with Martin outside of work because she could really let her hair down and be herself. Usually they would joke around and just enjoy the times when they didn't have to be serious and secretive around each other.

Tonight had been different though. Although she had laughed and joked, Martin had been a little more subdued than usual. He did not protest angrily when she started making fun of his X-Files obsession and did not even crack a smile when she made fun of the way Danny had fallen all over himself when the knockout from the floor below had given him her number. He had said very little the entire night and when he was not talking dully he was often staring into his food or looking extremely grave.

She did not dare to ask what was wrong for on the few occasions she had, they usually ended up fighting for weeks. No, she had learned just to pretend everything was fine until this phase passed. The two of them had become quite talented at pretending like everything was fine over the last few months.

Now that they were in the living room of her miniscule apartment, things seemed to tense up a bit. She didn't know if it would be tactful to try and get him "in the mood" when he had only been in a lousy mood the entire evening. She decided that perhaps it would help his bad mood and began dropping soft kisses on his jaw while slowly unbuttoning his shirt.

He closed his eyes and heaved a great sigh and before grabbing her hands and taking a step away from her. She looked deeply into his blue eyes and saw the conflict. Her body tensed up and she gulped hard. She knew what was coming; had seen that look far too many times. Fear was beginning to take a hold of her as she began shaking her head. She parted her lips to say something, but he was too quick.

"Sam, I don't think we should do this," he said quietly. His voice was not angry or spiteful, but filled with a sadness she had never heard before. Her lip began to tremble and he dropped his eyes from her face to the floor. "It's just…not going to work anymore." He dropped her hands and let his fall silently to his side. She was so taken aback that she didn't notice his defeated stance or the way that his voice spilled over with regret.

She stepped away from him, completely in shock. She couldn't feel anything, her body was completely numb. She had had no idea that this was coming. Everything was fine. They were happy. _She_ was happy! Millions of questions raced around each other in her mind.

"Why? Why not?" Her voice was trembling and she had to grasp firmly onto the recliner to keep her legs from giving way. She had thought that Martin was happy with her. How could she have known this was next for them?

"There's just…too much conflict and frankly, I don't see the point in pursuing this relationship if we're not going anywhere." He sighed again and raised his eyes to meet hers. "I want more Sam, and you're just too caught up in your own problems. I can't get close enough to you for anything real to happen and I'm tired of trying." Instantly he realized what he said and tried to correct his mistake. "Not that it's all your fault…" but she cut him off.

"I'm too caught up in _my_ problems? What the hell is that supposed to mean?" Martin was shaking his head and trying to interject his thoughts but she just cut him off. "Maybe I just want to take it slow. Not everyone wants to throw away their life. I'm not ready to move to the suburbs, pop out a few kids and then wait to die and you're calling that my problem?

"And what do you mean there's 'no point in pursuing it'? What the hell has the last year been for?" she yelled, throwing her hands up and glowering at him. "Has this just been some little game for you? You got bored and thought it would be fun to screw me?" He shook his head as if he knew that she would react like this.

"I don't want to fight with you, Sam…"

"It's _Samantha!"_

"I never wanted it to end like this," Martin persisted as though she had not just interrupted him. "I love you, Samantha, but it's not worth it anymore."

His words shocked her. All of a sudden every angry word left her head so that only those four words echoed around in her ears, _"I love you, Samantha…"_ She couldn't believe he had said it but before she could think of a good reply, he had picked up his coat, opened the door and was heading down the hall to the elevator.

She was left, speechlessly sitting on the arm of her chair watching his retreating back as her front door slowly closed. She would sit that way for an hour, staring at the same spot on the wall and replaying the entire night over and over again looking for any clue that could have triggered his sudden change of outlook about them. Around midnight she stood up from her spot on the chair and walked, as if in a dream, to her bedroom. She didn't feel real. That morning she had been Martin's girlfriend and now she was simply Samantha Spade: single…alone.

It wasn't until she turned off the lights and crawled into her bed that she began to cry. The tears flowed freely as she realized that Martin would never again stare at her across the office while Danny watched with a huge smirk on his face. He wouldn't play footsie with her under the table while Jack was debriefing them on their latest case. Now instead of getting a feeling of glee when Jack paired her with Martin she would have a sense of foreboding. Her whole life was about to be turned upside down once again as it always did whenever you date and break up with someone from work.

She stared around at all of the reminders of Martin that were left in her bedroom. A pair of his cross-trainers lay untied and muddy in a corner. She remembered him running into her bedroom, soaking wet and dripping in mud as he threw the shoes into the corner and dived into bed with her. He had gone out running the previous Saturday after a horrible cold front had ripped through the city the night before.

Then there were all of his toiletries strewn across her bathroom counter: his razor and shaving cream, the pink and purple toothbrush she had bought for him teetering dangerously on the edge of the sink and his hairbrush which he had stubbornly insisted on bringing over after a scintillating argument about why sharing a hairbrush was not hygienic.

But probably the worst of all and the one that kept her crying the longest was the photo strip she had been using as a bookmark. She and Martin had been watching a movie and when she pointed out that all great couples had jumped into photo booths and made ridiculous faces at the camera Martin had dragged her down to the nearest mall and pulled her into a booth. They did the traditional three crazy poses and then the final one was serious. She remembered how he had ranted for an hour about how they were sure to be together for a long time because they now had a photo strip.

She didn't fall asleep until 3:30 AM and her alarm went off at 6. She took a hot and steamy shower and added liberal amounts of make up to try and cover up her red, puffy eyes but nothing worked. She finally settled on a pair of huge and very dark sunglasses and set off to get a cab to work, coffee in one hand and newspaper in the other.

She walked up the steps to the building and she couldn't hear anything of the crowd bustling around her. All she heard was the pounding of her own heart and the echoing sound of her heels as she made her way across the lobby and to the elevator. In no time at all she would be walking into the Missing Persons office pretending like everything was fine and sitting 10 feet away from the man that had broken her heart only 12 hours earlier.

Vivian sat in Jack's office and waved at the blonde as she went through the glass doors and headed to her desk. Danny was talking on the phone and she tried not to look at Martin but couldn't resist. Sure enough, he was eyeing her with great concern. The only satisfaction she received was that he looked as though he too had had a rough night.

She wished that he would stop looking at her. She was doing all that she could to avoid his gaze, the least he could do would be to pretend that she wasn't there. She knew he would ask if she was okay and be truly worried about her. It was the first time since meeting him that she was truly annoyed by the fact that Martin was a gentleman.

Samantha dropped her bag under her desk and sat in her chair, deliberately turning her back to Martin.

"Sam, is there a reason you're wearing shades inside?" came the voice of Danny Taylor. He sounded amused but she desperately wanted to slug him in the stomach as she took her glasses off and had to endure the even more concerned look from Martin and the look of shock on Danny's face. "Have you…have you been crying?" He looked torn between standing up and hugging her, pretending like he didn't notice and laughing.

"No, of course not. I just…" she chanced a look at Martin and then quickly looked away. She did not want to give him the satisfaction of knowing that she had been bawling all night although she also knew that satisfaction is the last emotion he would experience at that news. He did "love" her after all. "My allergies are acting up."

Now she wanted to hit herself. Martin and Danny both knew very well that she was not allergic to anything. She had boasted about it all month when the other four were sneezing because of the pollen and she felt perfectly fine. Danny apparently remembered this incident too because his gaze quickly changed from concern to scrutiny and disbelief.

"Allergies huh?" She nodded her head but didn't elaborate. At that moment Jack and Vivian walked into the bullpen and Samantha had never been more thankful for their timing. Jack demanded the attention of his four coworkers which thankfully forced Martin to tear his eyes from Samantha and focus them on Jack.

"No cases have come in yet but I don't expect it to stay that way. Christmas is coming up and we all know that means shoplifting, jealousy and extra foul-play." He looked around pointedly at each of them, his eyes lingering only a moment longer on Samantha's bloodshot eyes. "Just because there isn't an open case to work doesn't make today a free-for-all," his eyes shifted between Danny and Martin in an amused fashion. "There's a ton of paperwork that still needs to be filed from last week's case so get to work."

Danny started defending his actions from the last time they had a free day to Vivian as she laughed light-heartedly. Martin didn't join in but returned his gaze to Samantha who in turn did a 180 in her chair and dug into an inbox full of report papers.

Noon came and went and Samantha flat out turned down an invite to go out for lunch with the other four claiming that she had extra paperwork to attend too since she had been forced to shoot the suspect.

At 12:45 she heard the elevator, indicating that someone got off on their floor. Anticipating the rest of her team she looked up but instead saw only one person.

She was beautiful, tall and thin with vibrantly red hair in ringlet curls. She was wearing designer clothes and clutched the latest style handbag in her left hand. Tears were rolling down from her chocolate brown eyes and her dark complexion was flawless. She was looking around as though expecting to see someone as she stood at the entrance of their floor.

Samantha pushed back in her chair and stood up, smoothing her clothes as she headed over to where the woman was standing.

"May I help you?" The woman's head snapped in Samantha's direction and tears began falling at a more rapid pace.

"Yes, I'm looking for someone in fact, do you think you could help me find him?" her voice was trembling as she spoke and Samantha didn't fail to notice how her eyes darted around the room anxiously.

"I'm from the Missing Persons Unit, I'm sure there's something I can do." Sam gestured towards her desk and the two women began walking back to the bullpen. "Who are you looking for?"

"Martin Fitzgerald, he works here. Do you know where I can find him?"

Sam's insides went cold at his name and she stopped dead in her tracks. She shook her head and answered but noticed how her voice was unintentionally colder.

"Martin is out at lunch but he should be back at any moment. You're welcome to wait at his desk." Sam motioned to his chair and then headed back to her own desk. She tried desperately to focus on her reports but her eyes kept finding their own way to where the woman sat. Her mind raced, wondering how this woman knew Martin and why she all of a sudden needed him so badly.

"_Maybe he helped her out in a case once and she just needs to talk to him about it…"_ but just as she became satisfied with that conclusion the elevator sounded again and Martin, followed by Danny, Vivian, and Jack stepped out of it. Martin's eyes fell immediately on the red head and recognition spread across his face.

"Shelley?" he muttered as he walked quickly toward her.

"Oh…Marty!" she squealed as she dropped her expensive handbag on the floor, stood up and began sprinting across the room. As soon as she reached Martin she threw her arms around his neck and he reciprocated the embrace. She was crying uncontrollably into his neck and he was making quiet "sh" noises in her ear while delicately stroking her hair.

"_There goes that theory,"_ Samantha thought bitterly.

**A/N: Well, I hope that you enjoyed it. Shelley is going to play a huge role in the story. I'm off to fun camp for a week so there won't be an update within the week but hopefully one by next Monday. I'll write in my spare moments so leave me a review so that when I'm tired and broken down I'll be inspired to upload the next chapter.**

**Oh, and P.S. this whole story is dedicated to Muzzy-Olorea because she pretty much guilted me into writing this so if you like it you should thank her. It's all for you my friend!**


	2. Secrets Revealed

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything from the tv show "Without a Trace." Trust me, if I did everyone would know because it would be all about Samantha and Martin and they would NOT have broken up.**

**A/N: Okay, I'm writing this at 12:30 AM because I have camp tomorrow and can't sleep. I'm 100 positive that I am going to regret spending this time writing instead of sleeping but at the moment I don't particularly care. Thanks for the reviews, they mean a lot to me!**

**Chapter Two: A Secret Revealed**

"Shelley, what are you doing here?" Martin asked as he finally stepped away from her although the tears were still spilling out of her eyes. She shook her head causing the magnificent mane of red curls to reflect the office light as the rest of the team stood awestruck around the two. Vivian was staring at Samantha, expecting some sort of rash and angry reaction but was disappointed when all Sam could do was watch as fiery jealousy filled her insides. Jack winced also expecting an outburst from Sam but he quickly exchanged his expression for one of confusion as Viv had. Danny alone seemed completely dumbfounded as he stood staring at Martin and Shelley with his mouth hanging wide open.

"The wedding, it's off," she explained although she stumbled over the words as she tried to choke back her sobs.

"What? Why?" Martin looked truly concerned but all Samantha saw was the way his hands lingered on her upper arms, moving soothingly up and down as Shelley's torso shook.

"I…caught…I caught Andrew in bed…" she started, the tears overpowering her again. Martin pulled her into his chest and allowed the tears to stream off of her cheeks and onto his shirt, smearing it with mascara. He looked over the top of her head to the others apologetically.

"I'm so sorry. I would have never expected something like that from Andrew. He seemed like such a great guy."

"That's not the worst of it either," she continued pulling out of Martin's embrace and looking up into his eyes which were now focused on her again. "It was Charlotte." Martin's eyes were huge as she nodded somberly and quietly sniffling and wiping her cheeks.

"Charlotte Avery? Maid of honor Charlotte Avery?" He looked completely astonished and even Vivian looked intrigued by the story now. It was like her own private in-office soap opera. "Come on, let's get you a cup of coffee," he said and draped his arm across her shoulders and led her to the break room. Danny's eyes followed them as did Samantha's. She stopped abruptly though as she noticed that Jack and Viv were both eyeing her cautiously.

"Who was that?" Danny finally blurted out as he too turned his gaze upon the blonde. He had finally managed to shut his mouth but his eyes constantly darted to the break room door as if expecting an explosion of some sort.

"How should I know?" Sam retorted defiantly and moved back towards her desk, kicking the dropped handbag as she went. She moodily shuffled some papers on her desk as she tried to ignore the pangs of jealousy that were stabbing her heart.

But she couldn't help but think about this woman's perfect timing. The day after Martin had broken up with her a beautiful woman from Martin's past that she had never heard of comes bounding through the doors.

As the minutes went by, Samantha tried harder and harder to push thoughts of Martin out of her mind but it felt as if the harder she tried the longer they seemed to linger. She began to feel tears stinging the corner of her eyes and not wanting the others to see her crying she excused herself to the bathroom. She tried not to hurry and on her way she instinctively glanced into the break room as she always did.

The image she saw then would haunt her for nights to come and without realizing it she had stopped dead in her tracks. She stared for longer than she cared to admit and only realized it when Martin looked up and made eye-contact with her.

Martin's arms were wrapped firmly around Shelley's shoulders as she grasped firmly onto his arms. She seemed to be holding on for dear life for it looked as if her legs were about to give way. She was still crying although not as violently as she had been and Martin's head was resting on top of her curls. Every once in a while he would softly kiss the top of her hair before resting his chin on her again.

If he was shocked to see Samantha standing in the middle of the hall staring at them, he certainly didn't show it. He didn't look away until she walked out of his line of vision, but instead held her eyes for a moment. He, like so many times before, could not tell what she was thinking simply from staring into her eyes. There was always a moment when whatever she felt was clear as glass but she put the wall up immediately, shutting him out once again.

They looked at each other for what felt like ages but it couldn't have been more than a few seconds before she stalked off, the sound of her heels echoing softly around the room and finally fading away. He wanted more than anything to go after her, to tell her he was sorry and pull her into his arms but he remained where he knew he was wanted, firmly planted with Shelley simpering into his chest.

As Martin stood there, he couldn't help but think about the only time Samantha had clutched to Martin like Shelley was and allowed him to console her. It was four in the morning and she had woken up crying. She shook Martin awake and wrapped her arms around his middle and began weeping, although he didn't realize it until he felt her tears on his skin. She cried for almost an hour and let him whisper into her ear before she finally fell asleep in his arms.

He was caught up in this memory, but was finally shaken back to reality by Shelley's still trembling voice.

"I'm okay…I'll be okay. I'm just glad I have you to turn to." She smiled up at him sweetly and he smiled back, dropping another kiss on her forehead. She followed him out of the break room and back to his office where Danny began eyeing them closely again.

Samantha however, was still in the bathroom. She felt overwhelmed by the emotion to shoot something or to begin crying. Instead she shredded some toilet paper and washed her hands and face multiple times. After giving herself a mental pep talk she headed back out and was very relieved to see that Martin and Shelley were no longer in the break room holding each other. She walked confidently back into the bullpen only to have her poise shaken again.

Martin was handing Shelley a key, but it wasn't just any key. It was the key to his apartment and that wasn't the worst part. He was handing her the key chain with the stupid "Top Ten Reasons I Love New York" key chain that she had given Martin for the office gift exchange at Christmas.

She felt idiotic for being so territorial about a key chain, but for a reason that she couldn't really explain, it bothered her.

Determined not to stare, she sat down at her desk and began shuffling the same papers she had been pretending to work on before.

"Excuse me, Samantha," Shelley said and Sam started as she turned to look at the tearstained red head, "Could you hand me my bag? I think it's underneath your desk." Sam hoped that the surge of hatred she was feeling was not showing on her face and crouched down to pick up the expensive purse and handed it to Shelley. "Thank you, sweetie."

Samantha knew that her shock at being addressed in such an informal manor was showing through her features this time and did not even bother to hide it.

Shelley walked back over to Martin, stood on her tiptoe and gave him a kiss on the cheek, said "I'll see you later," and stalked out smiling and seemed to be bouncing rather than walking, as if she had not come in a half an hour earlier bawling.

Once the elevator doors shut, all four agents turned and pierced Martin with a glare so fierce that he actually took a step backwards. She could have been imagining it but as he explained that they had been friends in college he looked a little too fidgety and completely avoided making eye contact with her.

After a few minutes of intense interrogation, the day went on as usual. Surprisingly, no cases came in the rest of the day and they all started packing up around five, happy to have no extra paperwork to finish. Samantha planned to get out of the office earlier than the others to avoid any awkward situations but luck was not on her side that day.

Danny beat her to it, but instead of heading out he walked to Martin's desk and tried to ask quietly, but in an empty office his words still made their way to Samantha's desk.

"So, how do you know Shelley again?" Danny asked, leaning lazily against Martin's desk, chomping noiselessly on some cookies.

"I told you, we went to college together," Martin said, without looking up.

"Yeah, you did. But, I'm not an idiot and I know you better than that. How do you _really_ know her?" Danny was smiling that all-knowing and very irritating smile that Samantha had grown to hate and adore all at the same time.

Martin looked around uncomfortably as if to make sure that no one was listening and lowered his voice, but she could still hear him.

"Okay, but you can't tell anyone." Danny shrugged and nodded but Martin didn't look convinced. "I mean it Danny, no one. Not Jack, not Viv, and especially not Samantha."

"Fine…cross my heart," Danny said with a grin.

"Well, I did know her in college…we dated…"

"HA! I knew it!" Danny proclaimed but Martin wasn't finished. He was looking around nervously and his cheeks were tinged pink. He was wringing his hands on the desk and looked as if he was seriously debating continuing or not. "What? There's more?"

"Well, after we graduated…" he looked around again, "I proposed and we were engaged for a year." Danny was completely silent and his mouth hung open, much like it had earlier when Shelley had first walked into the office. "We called it off a few months before the day because neither of us were ready to be married."

"Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. That girl…Shelley, she was your fiancée?" Martin nodded solemnly and looked eager to change the subject. "Wow," was all that Danny could force out.

As Martin left, Danny by his side, his mouth moving 100 miles per hour, reeling off questions about Martin's near marriage, Samantha sat frozen in her seat. She could not move and she felt as if she was being suffocated.

She and Martin had spent hours talking about their previous relationships. They spent a whole weekend on her relationship with Jack and her brief marriage and he had not once mentioned Shelley. He had talked about the three month relationship he'd had in grad school, the one time he tried to date two women at the same time, and then talked about how besides that he had only gone on one or two dates with many different women and never even come close to settling down. That's what really got to her.

Martin had flat out lied to her face.

And for the first time since the night before she was not filled with sadness or jealousy, but anger.

**A/N-**Yeah, so this chapter is short and crappy but I promise more will be coming soon. My last exam is tomorrow and I promise I will work on Chapter three. I know this is about 400 years late and I'm sorry. I didn't realize that college would take up this much time. Leave me a review and tell me how crappy this chapter is…don't worry about feelings, I can handle it.

Also, let me just say that so far, I love season 4. It's too bad that it is taking a near death experience to make Sam and Martin stop fighting, but hey, whatever works right!


	3. A Promise

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything from the tv show "Without a Trace." Trust me, if I did everyone would know because it would be all about Samantha and Martin and they would NOT have broken up.**

**A/N: Safe aired tonight (From the Ashes on finishing date). Oh how I love the few seconds of S/M. Does anyone else realize how pathetic it is that I cling onto those 10 or so seconds and that they totally made my day? I mean, I totally didn't go out with my friends tonight because I wanted to watch Safe. And I started squealing the giddy fangirly squeal when Martin first showed up on the show. I know I'm pathetic, but I don't care!**

**I hope you guys enjoy this!**

**Chapter Three: A Promise**

"Was there any indication?" Martin asked.

He and Shelley were sitting in the living room of his apartment. It was the Saturday evening after she had arrived. They spent the day walking around New York, Martin showing her the sights. Now they were lounging on the couch in their pajamas with the USC game on in the background. Shelley had her knees tucked up under her chin.

"I don't know, I was so caught up in the wedding plans…there could have been signs and I just didn't notice." She shook her head and kept her eyes downcast. There was a moment of silence before she continued. "Four days before the wedding, Andrew shows up at the bachelorette party saying he needed something for his mother. I didn't think anything of it but someone asked where Charlotte was so I went looking for her…and when I found her…" she shifted uncomfortably but lifted her eyes to meet Martin's, "they were in my bedroom, going at it like it wasn't even tacky. My fiancée and maid of honor in my _bed_ at my _bachelorette_ party."

Martin was shaking his head with a disgusted look on his face. He remained silent though, knowing that after she had composed herself she would continue.

"Obviously I left…I definitely wasn't in the best state to be leaving but I couldn't stay there. I didn't want to go to my parents' house and Charlotte's was out of the question so I rented a motel room and emptied the mini-bar.

"He called me that morning and I agreed to have lunch with him. And do you know where he suggested that we go?" she asked with an exasperated tone.

"No," Martin replied simply, shaking his head.

"Little Venice!" she cried. When it clearly didn't have the desired effect she elaborated. "That's where we had our first date…and he was going to propose there but I found the ring in his bathroom."

"You're kidding," Martin said. She shook her head, anger clear on her perfect features. She folded her legs across her and began spinning the engagement ring Martin had given her that she still wore on the other hand. It was a nervous habit she had, fidgeting when she became anxious or upset.

She sighed deeply and brushed one of the loose curls away from her face.

"Anyway, he apologized for sleeping with Charlotte four days before the wedding and he apologized for not handling our 'broken relationship' better. But then he proceeded to blame what had happened on me!"

Martin raised an eyebrow and asked, "How did he do that?"

She shrugged and looked a bit bewildered but explained.

"He said that I was pushing him away…which makes no sense seeing as we were about to get married. He said that I was pushing him away and into Charlotte's arms. And when I asked him how exactly I had managed to do that…" she bit her lip and spun the ring again, "he said that he constantly felt like I had some standard that he could never live up to."

"What did he mean by that?" Martin asked, folding his arms across his chest.

She shrugged again but this time did not look directly into his eyes when she answered.

"He said that there was someone in my past that I had never fully gotten over and that no matter how hard he tried he felt like he could never be as good as…as this other person." He voice became progressively quieter as she finished the sentence and Martin didn't fail to notice but decided not to continue badgering her about it.

They sat in silence for a moment or two, Martin taking a drink of his soda and Shelley idly spinning the ring.

For Shelley, the silence was deafening, even though the sports commentator was yelling loudly in the background on the tv.

"So, what about you Marty? Do you have a special someone?" She was smiling again now, but there was something behind those brown eyes that suggested a less than playful undertone.

"Ah, I had a feeling we would be heading in this direction sooner or later," he replied with a laugh as he stretching his arms over his head. "I…uh, I did. We split up recently." He didn't really feel like going into detail just yet as he himself was still trying to work through some of his rationale.

"Anyone I know?" Shelley asked without expecting an actual answer.

"You've met her actually." The shock that followed that statement nearly floored her. She immediately started going through all of the women she and Martin both knew that lived in New York.

"Who?" she asked stunned.

"Samantha Spade, from work." Shelley's mind began to slow down as she began digging through her memories to remember Samantha. Things from that day began to make sense suddenly: the immediate iciness in her voice as soon as she found out that Shelley was looking for Martin, the way she had stared as Martin held her, the scuff marks that Shelley had found on her purse.

But some things didn't. Martin had never gone for blondes before and from what she had deducted from the things Martin had told her, Samantha was very independent. He had always gone for the more clingy women. He liked to feel needed and more than anything he liked to feel wanted.

"Why'd you split up?" she asked, trying to keep her voice casual.

He shook his head and his eyes fell in the same manner that hers had only a few minutes earlier.

"I just never knew where I stood with her, and any time I got close to finding out she would push me even further away. It was constantly one step forward and five back. I guess I just got tired of the disappointment."

Shelley had never seen him look as defeated as he looked in that very moment. Instead of the slightly upbeat and playfully arrogant Martin she was used to being around, he looked as if he had been deflated somehow.

And before she could stop herself (for there was a 50/50 chance that he would answer the wrong way) she asked, "Was it better than what we had?"

Martin's eyes snapped up and she could tell that he was considering his answer. She knew that the hopefulness and anxiety she was suddenly feeling was shining through her eyes like a spotlight, but all she could think about was how he was about to answer.

He opened his mouth and,

_Knock, knock._

She let out a sigh, not sure if she was relieved or upset but watched as Martin stood up and walked to the door. She saw the surprised look on his face as he saw who it was and unlocked the door.

It was Samantha.

"Hey." Shelley heard her voice before she saw her and watched as Martin's surprise went to delight and then to the defeated look he had had earlier in a split second.

Samantha walked in but she had a large box under her arm.

The first words out of Martin's mouth, being the gentleman that he was, were "Samantha, you remember Shelley right? Shelley, this is Samantha." Shelley shifted preparing to stand up and shake Sam's hand but stopped when Sam sent a sarcastically cold smile in her direction and looked back to Martin. He cleared his throat and continued. "We were actually just talking about you."

"Oh really, must have been fascinating." Martin looked slightly taken aback but didn't say anything. "Look, I brought your things back over here. I don't have a lot of time so I'm just going to dump this somewhere and grab my things, alright?"

"Sure, that's fine. Do you want some help? I could…"

"Nope," Samantha interrupted. Martin didn't heed her reply though and followed her to his bedroom where she proceeded to dump all the contents of the box onto his bed including his muddy cross-trainers, shaving cream, Special Edition Braveheart, two old sub sandwiches, and reading glasses.

She went all around his apartment in less than ten minutes picking up her shampoo, discarded clothing, cans of soup, and other things that she could have easily gone without.

"Samantha, you're welcome to stick around. We were just watching the USC game…" Martin suggested as she began pulling his apartment key off of her key chain. She stuck it in Martin's hand, picked up her box and replied,

"No thanks, I don't want to interrupt the slumber party." And with one last cold smirk walked out of the door, slamming it shut behind her.

Shelley's eyes were wide but she had one eyebrow cocked. Martin stared for a moment or two at the door, unsure of what to do next. He considered going after her to knock some sense into her but knew that there would be no point, she was far too stubborn.

"I'm just going to go to bed now," Martin said when he finally turned around to face Shelley again. He looked disheveled and uncertain of what to do.

"Marty, it's only 8:30," she pleaded.

"Yeah…it's pretty late," he said, barely registering her words. And without another glance in her direction he went into his bedroom and shut the door.

Looking through the contents that had been so gracefully dumped on his bed was probably the hardest thing he had had to do besides the actual break up.

Having all of his belongings back, including the things he had bought specifically for her apartment, made it feel so much more final, like there was absolutely no chance of reconciliation. He set to putting the toiletries away first because they felt less personalized somehow, all the while marveling at how much of his stuff had ended up at her place.

He found some ties and a pair of shoes he had long since given up on and a book he had started at her apartment and never even finished chapter one. Inside it was the photo strip he had forced her to pose for. He stared at it for a long time before moving on.

There were a few files from cases that had been closed months ago at the bottom of the pile and she had even stuck the birthday card he had given her in them.

There was the picture frame he had given her for Christmas and the picture of the two of them at his aunt's house. He stared at it for nearly half an hour just reliving that day. The two of them had been so happy that weekend. She had laughed for an hour when Martin's uncle had forced them to sleep in separate bedrooms. He remembered swearing that he had seen tears glistening in her dark brown eyes as his cousins did their own rendition of the nativity scene. She had smiled the entire time the family opened the gifts and had talked non-stop about it on the drive back to New York. His family always opened presents one at a time so that everyone could see what you were getting and then it was tradition to hug the person who had given you the gift. He remembered Sam's surprise when his niece had hugged her after getting a present from him.

His aunt had wasted a whole role of film on just pictures of Samantha and Martin, and he noticed that Sam had sent them back as well. There were all kinds of pictures in there. One of Sam and his cousins sneaking into the room to wake him up Christmas morning. One of him and Sam kissing under the mistletoe. A few posed pictures and one of Martin teaching Samantha how to make chocolate pie immediately followed by him shoving a huge piece of it into her face.

When he had finished moving his things off of the bed he got into it and attempted to fall asleep, but it simply wouldn't work. He lay in his bed staring at the ceiling thinking about Samantha for hours. He wasn't sure about how long he stayed awake but remembered hearing the elevator doors ring open right before he finally drifted off to sleep.

Samantha had never intended to be so cold when she brought his stuff back to him. She had planned on sitting down and talking things out, trying to figure out what went wrong and if they could fix it somehow. She had intended on telling Martin how much she missed him and that she would do anything to get him back.

But that all changed because what she had not counted on was seeing Shelley, dressed in her pajamas sitting on his couch like she belonged there. It threw her off and as the wave of jealousy and anger filled her insides, she couldn't help what had happened next. Instinct took over and the next thing she knew she was rampaging around the apartment grabbing anything and everything that looked as if it could possibly belong to her.

The look Shelley was giving her hadn't helped either. It was like she was daring Samantha to make some claim to Martin. In the single flash of those milk chocolate brown eyes, a slight movement of the eyebrows, and the subtle smirk on her lips she was telling Samantha that Martin was hers.

After she had slammed the door, instead of walking angrily to the elevator, she slid slowly down the wall until her knees were in her chest. She felt broken, helpless even.

She didn't cry although she felt as if one more thing going wrong would rip her to pieces. She simply thought about how in the span of a week her life had gone from comfortable and relatively happy to empty and shattered.

She sat, propped up against the wall for well over two hours. Time seemed to drag by but she could not will herself to stand up and leave. Something inside told her that if he would just come outside, if he would just try to come after her, they could work it out. She kept waiting for the door to open, the flame of hope flickering pitifully.

But of course, he never came and after her final hope had been put out, she somehow forced herself up and got into the elevator without a single glance back.

The following Monday, Samantha was determined to pretend as if it had not happened. She walked to her desk without glancing over to where Martin sat prepared to only speak to him when it was necessary for the case. And if she was really lucky, Jack would assign one of them in the field and the other in the office.

Conversely, Martin had come into the office that day intent on making her tell him what Saturday night had been about. He watched as she walked in and although the fact that she had avoided his eyes had not surprised him, it did disappoint him slightly. He watched diligently until Jack came in with the case, waiting for a chance to catch her alone in the hall or in the break room. Thanks to Jack's punctuality and Danny's offer to grab Sam's coffee, Martin got no such chance.

"Okay, James Dobsen. 35 year old male, well-off lawyer living uptown. He clocked out of work at 3:30 this morning and never made it home. The wife called it in at nine. We have no idea if it's a kidnapping for ransom, if he ran off with the receptionist, or if he got mugged and is lying in an alley somewhere. Danny, Viv, I want you two here going through every phone record, home, cell and work, all of his recent charges, looking for anything suspicious that could give us some clue about why he's missing. I'm headed to the office building…I have to talk to the CEO about ransom payment and try to get a security camera tape. Samantha, Martin, you two are headed to the apartment. Talk to the wife, look around, see if anything is out of place or doesn't make any sense." Jack looked pointedly at each of them, daring them to challenge his deliberating and when no one did, he stood up and walked out.

Samantha followed Martin quietly down the hall and into the elevator. She did her best to keep from looking at him. Martin on the other hand, continually looked over at her as if trying to decide about what to say, quickly deciding against it and staring straight forward again.

She didn't say a word as she followed him out of the building lobby and gave a slight nod of thanks when he opened the door of his Impala for her. She watched in an almost amused fashion as he jogged around the car and got into his own seat. He stuck the key into the ignition but instead of turning the car on he just pulled it back out again.

"Is this how it's going to be?" he asked as he turned his whole body to look at her.

"I don't know what you're talking about?" she replied, the frostiness in her voice dropping the temperature a few degrees. Martin looked at her hard for a few seconds as if trying to see through her before saying,

"Fine." He turned the engine over and began driving. She continued to stare forward with her hands folded neatly in her lap.

Martin's resolve was strong though and they hadn't even made it through the first light by the time he was talking again.

"Look, I'm not sure exactly what I've done to especially piss you off, but could you please stop acting so childish and at least tell me what I've done wrong." She could hear the frustration in his voice but a fresh wave of anger kept that from softening her response.

"You think I'm acting childish?" His accusation had finally made her turn her body so that she was looking at him.

"Yes, I do," he replied before she could start ranting. "You won't even look at me at the office, you only speak to me when it's absolutely necessary…and the way you were acting Saturday night in my apartment was ridiculous." His grasp was so tight on the steering wheel that his knuckles had turned white as he attempted to stay focused on the road and not lose his temper.

"Well maybe I wouldn't have acted that way if you and Shelley weren't in the middle of a pajama party. I just wanted to get out of there quickly so that the two of you could get back to whatever you were doing _before_ I showed up." She sat back in her seat and crossed her arms firmly against her chest. The anger she felt was starting to make her shake and she was afraid of losing control.

"That is the dumbest excuse for the way you were acting! She hasn't even done anything to you…and the way we're dressed in _my_ apartment isn't really your concern anymore, is it?"

Samantha nodded her head and bit her lip, fighting the urge to smack him as hard as she could. She let the silence hang for a moment before saying in a dangerously low tone,

"You're right, I shouldn't blame my actions on Shelley, because in reality it was your fault."

"_My_ fault? What did I do?"

"You lied to me, Martin." Her voice was beginning to rise again and instead of becoming angrier she began to feel more emotional and found herself, once again, close to tears.

"What? I did not," Martin replied defensively.

"I seem to remember a certain conversation we had a while back about you having had only one serious relationship that lasted three months in grad school. But, and I quote, 'never even came close to settling down.' And, no, Danny didn't tell me, I overheard."

Martin looked stunned. It was the last reason he had expected and therefore had nothing to say back.

He stared determinedly at the road ahead and turned it over in his head while Samantha sat silently next to him, her head turned towards the window as she regained her composure. She was breathing deeply and managed to blink back a few threatening tears. When he finally spoke again she listened intently although he couldn't tell.

"I…I'm sorry…that I lied. Most women don't want to be told that their boyfriend used o be engaged to someone else and I was afraid of how you would react. I didn't want to end the relationship before it even started." His voice was sincere and quiet and he spoke slowly and deliberately.

"Well, I guess it doesn't matter anymore, does it?" She chanced a glance in his direction and could see the hurt of that statement on his face. He looked over at her for only a moment, but those few seconds that their eyes met she knew that it mattered. It mattered to him that she didn't forgive him and it mattered to her because he still cared so much.

After a few more seconds of tense silence she said, "…but I forgive you." She wouldn't look at him because she knew her eyes would give her away so she simply stared at her hands, folded neatly in her lap. "Just…don't do it again, okay?"

He nodded as relief spread over him.

"I promise. Only the truth from now on."

They were at a red light and he turned to face her and as much as she didn't want to look into those deep pools of blue, she found herself involuntarily turning her head so that her eyes could meet his.

She stared into them for what seemed like an eternity but couldn't have been more than a few seconds. She was searching them, searching for any ray of hope but a short honk behind them interrupted the moment and informed them that the light had turned green.

The rest of the ride was silent, but not uncomfortable. The intensity in the air had been relieved and they were soon outside of the apartment building in upper Manhattan.

When they walked into the apartment, Samantha was nearly floored. It was one of the most exquisite rooms she had been in, especially in a case. She was used to run down, bug-infested, dirty and falling apart apartments. This one had expensive artwork on the walls and custom furniture filling the room. But the extraordinary thing was that there seemed to be an almost homey feel to it.

The police gave Sam and Martin a small nod and then headed out of the room and they immediately spotted the woman who was undoubtedly the wife. She was sitting in one of the comfortable yet expensive looking armchairs with mountains of used tissues surrounding her. Tears were streaming down her face and her eyes were bloodshot and poofy.

"Mrs. Dobsen, I'm Special Agent Spade, this is Special Agent Fitzgerald, we're with the FBI," she said flashing her badge quickly before stuffing it back into her pocket. "We're going to need to ask you a few questions about your husband if that's okay."

"Sure, anything to help." She had beautiful strawberry blonde hair that Samantha could tell any other day would have been beautifully fixed instead of the messy knot that it was pulled into at the present time. She was obviously very thin but was wearing a large sweatshirt with the letters NYU printed across the front. Her green eyes were stunning and even without make-up Samantha knew that this woman was more beautiful naturally than your average New Yorker.

"Is it alright if I have a look around, Mrs. Dobsen?" Martin asked politely while Samantha sat down on one of the couches.

"It's Christina, and that's fine," she said with a small wave of the hand. Martin gave her a warm smile and glanced at Samantha before heading down a hall to the nearest bedroom.

"How are things between you and your husband, Christina?" Samantha asked routinely as she pulled out her notepad and a pen.

"Fine. He's been working long hours these past few weeks and we have our little spats like all couples but nothing out of the ordinary."

"Why long hours?"

"He's a lawyer, and a good one at that. His firm has been loaded with cases these past few months and so a case in which he would normally have another lawyer to work with along with paralegals and secretaries, he's working by himself and with only one secretary." Her voice was shaky but she managed to maintain her composure.

"And what's his secretary's name?"

"Alyse Sanderson, but I don't see why that's relevant."

"I'm just asking the routine questions. We need to get a good picture of your husband's life and who he interacts with to really find out what's happened to him." Samantha paused for a moment to see if Christina would overreact and have an outburst like so many of the people she interviewed had done before. "Why did you make the call this morning?"

Christina sighed and closed her eyes. When she opened them again, Samantha could see the moisture and the tears threatening to spill over and was amazed at this woman's strength.

"Around two this morning he called me from the office. He said that he had another two or three hours to work on whatever he and Alyse were doing but that he would definitely be home by 5. He was planning on coming home, getting a few hours of sleep and being back in the office around 11. So, I went back to sleep and when I woke up at 7 this morning he still wasn't here. I looked all around the apartment to see if he had just fallen asleep somewhere else but I didn't find him. So I called his cell, his pager and the office but no one knew where he was." Her voice had begun to shake again and was starting to get louder as it filled with worry.

"All of a sudden horrible things started to go through my mind. He just rides the subway home and at 4 in the morning who knows what could have happened to him on the way to the station or even on the subway. And…and I just don't understand why this is happening. Everyone says it's for ransom, but I'm telling you that something terrible has happened to my husband!"

Christina was beginning to sound more and more hysterical as she continued on.

"Mrs. Dobsen, I'm going to need you to calm down a little bit," Samantha said reassuringly.

"Calm down…CALM DOWN! That's my husband out there! What if he's hurt? What if he's sick? All these terrible things keep going round and round in my mind about what could have happened to him…to the love of my life, and you want me to calm down? HAVE YOU EVER BEEN IN LOVE, AGENT SPADE?" Christina yelled.

Samantha gasped at the bluntness of this question and was even more frightened by the fact that her mind went immediately to Martin who was standing a few feet from where she was standing, separated only by a layer of sheetrock.

"I…um…I." Samantha's eyes shifted around the room and as she decided on an answer and opened her mouth to say it Martin burst in. Samantha's eyes darted to Martin and she knew that Christina had seen it.

"Samantha, you need to see this."

**A/N-Hurrah!**

Yay for a timely update. I'm so proud of myself. I have a few thank you's to my reviewers. You guys are awesome!

**Fotodol**-Thank you so much. I agree that the M/S hug was spectacudacular!

**Raya519**-Thank you! You made me feel so great with your review.

**L'ilmissnitpick**-I am flattered that you think so. I always feel that I struggle to keep them in character so thanks for the compliment.

**SpookyBibi-**Who could be mad at that cute? Not I. This chapter will definitely be longer.

**Jtsideout389-**I liked that part too. In my last story it was all from Sam's point of view so I thought I'd throw in a little bit of what Martin's feeling as well. Thanks for the review.

**Muzzy-Olorea-**I adore your reviews! You rock and I love your feedback. This story is dedicated to you, you know. So if you hate it you need to tell me so I can change it. And trust me, you're going to hate Shelley a lot more in coming chapters…and that's all I shall say.


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